Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I will pee on everything he values.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
