did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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