dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
soo... how was my night?
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