Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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