What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
