My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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