remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
