We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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