none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Where is the hickey?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
