What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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