Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
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We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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