I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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