In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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