Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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