Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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