Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
