It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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