Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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