making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
