Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
