I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
