It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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