I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
God, I missed his penis.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
