If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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