They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
