I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
