bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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