I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
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Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
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I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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