people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
