I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
