nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
