Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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