I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
now i know why i became what i already was.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
