last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
