apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My ass is underappreciated
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize