Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
