My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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