I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
