is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
