I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
from now on my penis is your penis
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
