I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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