I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
