yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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