im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
