I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You pole danced in your parka.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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