sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
