so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
