You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
