Nicole vs. Life
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
