remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
