I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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