Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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