I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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