that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
