That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
