So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
