Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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