Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
