Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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