No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
