summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
