Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
