Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
