Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
its not stalking. its research.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
