My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize