I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize