Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
