I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize