hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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