Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
